Happy Couple, Miserable Gaming Group

If you've played role playing games for any significant length of time, undoubtedly you've sat down at the table with a some dude and his wife/fiancée/girlfriend. Yes, it's true. Some gamers have GIRLFRIENDS or WIVES. Now, Gaming Girls can rock, but in my experience gaming with the happy couple has never been a good thing. Here are a few pitfalls the couples I've gamed with have fallen into...

1) "Yes, Dear." - Now, you may be whipped and have to do whatever your gal says, but don't bring it to the gaming table. I was in a gaming group where the boyfriend's character would agree with anything his girlfriend's character wanted to do! If it came down to a party vote, the girlfriend at best had a tie, two-two (there were four party members). VERY frustrating to have one character control the entire party because the boyfriend can't say no.

2) "I can't afford a diamond necklace, BUT here's a +12 Hackmaster, dear!" - In another group, the DM was the boyfriend and the girlfriend was a character. She got what she wanted, darn the rules! They lived together and she'd bend his ear all week so that by the time the rest of the group got to the gaming table, she'd have this over-optimized super character. Also a little bit of #1 with this case - but it was WORSe because the boyfriend, the DM, sided with her ("No, you guys can't do that because...."). Ugh.

3) "All of our characters are married!" - I role play to, you know, PLAY A ROLE. Couples that have to have all of their characters be couples too disturb me. Being jealous of your significant character isn't cool either. What, my character can't hit on your girlfriend's female elven sorcerer just because you're dating in real life?

4) "I'll rescue you, dear!" - Overly protective couples can be a problem too. For example, my character is lying on the ground bleeding out at -4 but the party cleric has got to run over to protect his wife who is fending off a troll. Dude, she the FIGHTER! She can handle herself! A little help over here!?!

5) "We had a fight." - You know what's worse than gaming with a happy couple? Gaming with an UNHAPPY couple. If our party is going to dissolve into a fight/debate/brawl, let it be over the thief pocketing a ring or something NOT because Mr. Hubby failed to change the kitty litter.

So, in conclusion, if you're a couple that role plays together, make sure any of the above scenarios aren't you. If they are, change for the sake of everyone else at the table. Show no favoritism to your significant other in any way. Let your characters be just that - characters completely independent of your real life feelings for one another. Gaming Girls can be awesome but if you're a guy gamer and you've got a girlfriend that doesn't game you should be grateful.